On the way back

Time: 11 pm
Place: Amman, Jordan
Date: November 2002

I just came from Bahrain after 4 months with my family, the whole trip from Manama to Amman was nothing but a miserable experience starting with a late wakeup at 10:30 Am with no more than 30 min. To eat, put some clothes on and go to the airport, somehow I managed to do all that with just being 5 minutes late.

I went through all the security checks and then proceeded to gate 32 I guess, where I found nothing but a cleaning cart and an Indian dude trying to clean the passengers leftovers, I asked him about the plane, he said it left 30 minutes ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must be at the wrong gate (said to myself ) I took a quick look at the boarding pass and everything was fine but the time was 12:30 instead of 11:30, so I went back to the Qatar Airways counter to make sure everything was ok.... And it was.
so I went to the duty free shop to buy a few cartons of cigarettes, a bottle of Chivas and a perfume as usual, I didn't find any Chivas it was out of stock so I settled with a bottle of Jack Daniels instead, a weird woman was looking at me curiously so with all my rudeness I went to her and
said: what's wrong
The woman: nothing but you're so young to drink
replied: well I think I'm legally old enough to do whatever I want
The woman: I know sweetie but don't waste your money and health over something so stupid like alcohol
replied: it's my money and my own body so leave me alone please

I walked away thinking about how rude and arrogant my words were, just like every time I encounter some strangers criticizing my way of life I find a way out to justify everything I do. So I paid for the stuff and went to the waiting lounge and waited................... Finally I boarded the plane and on my way to transit in Doha to Amman.

It was a sweet flight really quick 45 min. Waited for almost 10 minutes then grabbed my stuff and left the plane to the shuttle, which is the most stupid thing ever in Doha international airport.

I waited for almost one hour then boarded the other plane to Amman and this is where the shit started.

I was seated on the worse seat ever in the row located right behind the first class area, but that wasn't the real problem, the man who was setting next to me was the most freakin annoying thing in the world, I can't recall his first name but I remember his last name it was for sure Shouman or maybe he was lying the whole time.

He introduced him self as an ex-pilot working for Boeing as a senior researcher in the middle-east region and started talking about airplanes and stuff and kept asking personal questions about my education and other stuff till he asked me about my name, I said Yanal he quickly responded no I mean your family name, I said El-****r. So you're Jordanian??!!..... I replied yeah aren't u? He said no I'm Palestinian but I hold a Jordanian Passport.. I knew he was up to make some stupid remarks about Jordanian people so I said we're all Jordanians sir, whether you're originally a Palestinian or not we all live in Jordan and we all love Jordan. He said I don't love Jordan I own Jordan ( talking about the Arab Bank and the Abdulhameid Shouman which I really respect for both his intelligence and generosity )........... He was really stupid to say that, I said ok sir u own Jordan and no one else exists in this whole universe but u so leave me alone and find your self something to do..... He suddenly pressed the overhead button and called the waitress. He told her this man is racist ( talking about me ) and that he doesn't wanna set next to me, she was shocked why sir what's wrong??!! That man replied he doesn't respect the landlords of Jordan. She was like who what landlord!!!!! She thought he was talking about the Royal family, so she said no sir I think u mess interpreted his words about the king........ He said no no no no he was talking about us ( since the waitress seemed Palestinian) she said: who me?!
he said no u and me u know Palestinian people. She quickly replied I'm not sir........ He got really confused it was obvious..She said no problem sir follow me I've got the perfect seat for you..... And guess where?? The first class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

If I knew I'll get a seat in the first class by just lying, I would've rushed my hand into that button since the beginning of the conversation...

After he left his seat I had more space to fit my big butt in and be comfortable on my way home, so I relaxed and started thinking about apologizing to the woman I've met in the duty free since she was in same plane so I did.... She was happy about it, u know everyone enjoys apology so I headed back to my seat and slept for almost two hours till the plane landed in my beloved Amman.

waited for 10 minutes as usual and grabbed my stuff and left the plane, stamped my passport, then went to check out the duty free in Alia airport it's really small with nothing in it but cigarettes, liquor and chocolate bars so I looked around for my favorite liquor and found it they had three left so I grabbed one and went to the customs. I didn't notice a yellow sticker on my bag so the customs guy asked if I have any appliances in my bag? I was so dumb not to say I have a DVD player inside. So he told me to open it and he found it, what do u call this?????? Well it's a DVD player but it's a gift ( I was lying pretending it's ok to smuggle a DVD player as a gift ) he said a gift or whatever u wanna call it we must tax it or u can just leave it here and take a receipt for it... I said ok how much do u want? He answered well it's a Sony it looks expensive so what about JD125 ( I was so mad, I didn't want to get really angry so he would insist on the amount ) so I said come on man I'm a student I don't have that much money and it's used, it's not a new one anyways. So he kept saying different figures till we finally settled on JD35. I paid the money took the receipt and headed to the entrance to get a cab, cuz no one knew I was coming.

Took the cab and immediately went to see my grandma in Zarqa ( I don't like to go there but she had the keys of our home and my car was parked there) so I went to get the car and the keys, they were totally surprised and asked me have lunch with them I refused politely and told them I was tired and shit, so I took the keys and headed back to Amman with the stupid car which my uncle really fucked up while I was away, and all of a sudden the car stopped so close to the Pepsi factory. I tried my best to figure what's wrong with it but also as usual no luck... So I locked the car and went to look for a phone ( I realized that I didn't exchange enough money after all the unexpected payments for the cab and the customs, so I didn't have enough money to go back to Amman. ) I found a small shop who didn't bother letting me use his phone, so I called my uncle and after all the explanations I did, he agreed on giving me a ride home (I know he's an asshole).

After a series of lousy tries to wire jump the car by my uncle, he gave up and told me to bring a mechanic to fix it tomorrow.
In less than 12 minutes I was in Amman finally, we stopped to get something to eat, I was really hungry.
On our way home he asked me if I needed anything, I said no thanks just get me home, he insisted on giving me JD50 but I refused to take the money. ( Unexpected offer ).

We finally reached home, I faced a lot of shit to get home and finally did, to face more and more shit.

Almost each and every window was broken, all the exterior lights were stolen ( and I thought we live in the best neighborhood in Amman ) anyways called the cops, they came after 30 minutes, started asking silly questions ( any suspects, mother name, how much is the damage?...Etc ) they took a few finger print samples off the broken glass and doors and left in 20 minutes leaving me with more questions on how and when and why all this shit happened in the first place.

It was so cold I tried to turn on the heater with no luck, I couldn't find the keys of the heater (Boiler) room, so I grabbed a blanket and the booze and got drunk as hell.

No woman can blame me now.